This is a complicated piece, which has good points and bad. The good is that the top part makes for an interesting design.
The problem I mark is in the lower part where the figures get stuck together because of blending of values and tangents.
The blending of values probably wasn't an issue in the black and white.
The tangent is where her skirt hem and high heel completes the back of his raised leg and hip.
I think running her leg parallel to his here is a mistake. Having one oppose the other or at least angle away would be better. Sure, as it is there is a lot of dynamism. The thing is that those dynamics could be more coherent -- meaning, given the gestures and balance of the figures, it is not exactly clear what all the actions are and how they relate to each other (i.e. is she tripping him, bumping him, kicking him?)
Thanks man! You're completely right about those wild tangents in the overlapping leg areas, they were bugging me the whole time I was working on this. Those creases just blend the whole image into a big lump. I did the best I could with it all things considered I guess, looked great as a thumbnail but it didn't translate too well after that. I would have ideally scrapped the whole thing and redone it but the person who commissioned it has been waiting more than a few months for this and I just had to get it out there. Chances are I'll revisit it and deliver something better when I get freed up.
I know I can count on you to reinforce these things I note as I'm drawing, I always appreciate the thought out critiques, I really need to reciprocate!